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Check Your Shame at the Door...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

9:04PM - Leave it to me

I just had a somewhat Christmas Vacation experience. I went to take my trash out tonight and here's what I was thinking in my head:
It's a beautiful winter night, a blanket of snow on the ground, Christmas lights hung, stars and moon shining, and an asshole in her pajamas breaking the lovely silence with the rumbling of a trashcan over an icy driveway.

Monday, November 17, 2008

6:40PM - Local News and Local Traffic

The local news here did a story on how there might be some traffic problems as city employees put up Christmas decorations on Main Street in downtown. 1. You have to love the local news. 2. There is no traffic here. You can drive anywhere you want to right at 5:00pm and there is no problem. It's great. I'm really enjoying that factor. Also, the local news usually has so little local news to report you get to hear more national news. And they are able to report on what all of the high schools are doing in regards to sports and theater.

Another great thing is that they sell alcohol in the grocery store. So I was able to get the fixins for tacos and margaritas all in one place. Terrific!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

7:39PM - South Dakota has a new resident and she's shaking things up!

After some poking and prodding, I figured I better start blogging again about South Dakota. I moved to Rapid City, SD October 10 to take a job with Booz Allen working on site at Ellsworth AFB. I will be here for at least a year, maybe 2 or 3. Just depends on the client and what I want to do. I'm renting a duplex - basically half of a house in the West Blvd District of Rapid City which is the historic part of town. It's a 2 bed, 2 bath so I have plenty of room for guests. Just let me know when you are coming!

This state is still considered to be the conservative Mid-West. And I would definitely agree. I work with mostly Republicans who constantly joke on me for my Obama bumper sticker. But they weren't laughing much on Wednesday. I didn't realize how conservative this state was until I saw that they were trying to ban abortion. Surprisingly it was rejected by voters. But all in all, people are pretty conservative and old fashioned if you will.

Today we had our first blizzard of the season. It actually snowed a little the first weekend I was here but it was just a dusting. It was in the 70s all last week. In the 60s Monday and Tuesday. And then blizzard conditions yesterday through today. We got about a foot of snow and with the high winds of up to 78 mph most of everything was shut down. The winds were also causing snow drifts, one of which formed in my driveway in front of my garage. It took me 2 hours to shovel the 3 foot high snow drift. Not fun. Temperatures look like they will be staying in the 30s and 40s for a while so I'm not sure when this snow will melt. I've heard that the weather is fickle here and they call this area the "banana belt." Not really sure why but it just makes me picture a belt with bananas on it.

Here are some fun/interesting things that I've noticed/learned/would like to share with you:
-Black Hills Bagels down the street has a sign with a cowboy riding a bagel.
-Lunch is called dinner and dinner is called supper.
-There are 2 men made out of tires at a tire place (I need to get a pic).
-There are bronze statues of the Presidents on each corner in downtown. They would be great photo ops.
-Praire Dogs have the bubonic plague and you can catch it from fleas.
-Electricity is just called lights.
-There is so little local news or local crime that the local news mostly reports national and world news.
-There is no local CBS affiliate so CBS comes from Sioux Fall in Central time. Prime time CBS shows start at 6pm.
-Everyone out here is really nice including mechanics who researched a warranty for me and saved me $250. Where else does that happen?
-You do not approach bison.
-The antelope are actually pronghorns.
-Native American Indian tensions are still high out here.
-The guy who played Daniel Day Lewis's father in Last of the Mohicans just ran for President of the Oglala Sioux Tribe and lost.
-Deadwood is a real town and you can gamble there.

The Office is on so I'm going to go. Uploading images to livejournal used to be really annoying. It looks like they have a new feature. I will attempt that at another time or will start a Picasa online album.

Also, if someone is web savy and would be willing to fancy up my blog - please let me know and I'll just give you my log in or something.

I'm kind of hoping for a snow day tomorrow too. I didn't get around to my People magazine today.

Friday, October 17, 2008

6:41PM - Test

Just seeing if this thing still works. I'm going to bring sans_shame back but with a South Dakota flair. See you then!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

8:25PM - Peaches, Peanuts, and Pecans

I'm in south Georgia and there's peaches, peanuts, and pecans and that's about it. I'm not complaining. There is also every chain restaurant you could hope and dream for, now I am complaining.

When was the last time I posted? I don't know but last weekend I was in my friend Kristin's aka Weiner's wedding. It was a great time. I ended up in a hot tub of butter at 3:30 am. It took about 4 showers before I stopped feeling and smelling like butter.

Paula Abdul looks sober tonight. Good for her!

I made up a new natural disaster category: Ghostbusters. Basically anything that happened in Ghostbusters 1 or 2 is in this category.

I've hired a personal trainer and I'm trying to eat healthy. It's really sad. But my butt had gotten to a point where it was trying to take over the world. Something had to be done. Right now it's just hoping to be running mate to Hilary or Barack.

That's about all the updates for now. If anyone wants peaches, let me know and I will eat one for you because I'm really not going to be shipping peaches anywhere.

Monday, April 7, 2008

2:47PM - You know what I forgot about that are delicious?

Reese's Pieces. They are delicious. I feel a little like ET when I eat them, but I don't think that's too much of a problem. Go buy yourself a bag!

Monday, March 24, 2008

4:43PM - PS. This stuff makes me laugh.

I wish there was a way to get paid for this because I would do it. There was an article in People magazine about this and there are other websites but here's one. Enjoy!

4:36PM - Even the birds are rubbing it in my face

We have a bird feeder outside of our window at work. Well, the male house finch who was single all winter just today brought a lady friend with him. Even the birds are hooking up and rubbing it in my face. The cardinals only come in pairs too.

Sorry I've been in such a bad blogging mood. There's just so much to be sad about, getting dumped, no Willie Nelson, no lobster, oh and the new thing is that ants are taking over my apartment. Like scary, horror film type take over. I'm scared to go to sleep as I'll wake up and just be bones. I guess in that case I wouldn't wake up, but you get the picture.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

5:26PM - Adding insult to injury

I went to Maine but did not get a chance to eat lobster. I was in Maine for actually less than 24 hours. So, I missed Willie Nelson and didn't get any lobster to make up for it. That is just sad.

Then, I got a text message from Joe on Tuesday saying "Hey. How are you?" Nothing says, "Thank you for loving me for four months and supporting me through a really rough time in my life" like a text message a week after dumping me. That was thoughtful.

I need a vacation.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

7:34PM - Sad Sack o' Sorries

Last night my boyfriend called me to tell me he wants to go on a break. Why not just call it a break up? Also, it was really awesome that he threw this on me while I'm on a business trip without the luxury to get shit faced and cry in bed all day. I had to put on a good face and be around almost complete strangers all day.

So, let's sum up the last two weeks...I can't go to the Willie Nelson concert. I'm missing the St. Patty's Day festivities in Ocean View. My boyfriend dumped me. My whole motto of "It's going to be great in 2008!" is not true one bit. 2008 blows.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

11:03PM - If I'm not working then I'm working as a single mom

Last week I was at a Marine Corps Air Station for work where I was working about 12 hour days. I got back on Friday and immediately went to babysit for the weekend. Meredith is 9 which is fine but Snickers the puppy is a pain in the butt. He woke up at 3:15am Friday night and was ready for the day to start. Who does that? I finally got home tonight at 8:30pm and now I have to get ready to leave tomorrow morning for Raleigh, NC for the week for work. I'm missing the BIG FUN St. Patty's Day parade in Ocean View Saturday morning because I don't get home until Saturday afternoon. Sucks. Then I'm thinking, I'm done right, I get thru this I'll be golden and then get to go to Willie Nelson on March 19th. Oh but no, without even asking me, an airline ticket was booked for me to go to Maine March 19th to 21st. I'm missing Willie Nelson. I'm pretty upset over it. He's a legend. And I was going to wear a bandana.

Sorry to rant and rave. I'm just tired. And instead of packing, I'm blogging. Oh, but there was one good thing about last week. My rental car was a convertible PT Cruiser. It was ridiculous. And the best part was when my coworker Luke and I drove around the base with the top down and the heat and Led Zepplin blasting. It was pretty sweet.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

9:58PM - What's up bitches?

So I haven't blogged in like two months, right? Well, 1. I need to get my own computer. 2. I just haven't felt like blogging.

But here are some fun updates...

I've been taking stipperobics. It's fun and a good workout. I learned a lap dance routine. And I've been taking pole classes and I can do quite a hot little routine in 4-inch heels. I really want my own pole.

I still have a boyfriend. His name is Joe Walsh but no, he doesn't play with The Eagles. He now lives in Pittsburgh which is unfortunate but we're going to make it work. I went up to Pittsburgh the weekend after Valentine's Day and I got me one of those Primanti Brothers sandwiches with french fries and coleslaw on it. Delicious.

I moved back into my first apartment and I'm just about unpacked and settled. I now have an offical guest bedroom so come on down to The OV whenever you want. In related news, I plan on getting some sort of OV inspired vanity license plate.

I'm about to go out of town on business for the next two weeks so I'm not sure when you'll hear from me again. I'm going to try to make it more frequent. Later.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

4:18PM - Weekend at Bernie's 3?

I read about this earlier today and then my sister noted that it was just like Weekend at Bernie's: http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/01/09/dead.mans.check.ap/index.html

In other hilarious links that were sent to me today...
Kevin brought this to my attention, An Evening with Scott Bakula:
I'm not sure if he will be singing. Will be playing the piano. Or will be reenacting scenes from Quatum Leap.

And Katie sent me this about bacon. It's from the same guy who does the hot pocket routine. It is hilarious. And if you love bacon like I do, you must watch it:


Tuesday, January 8, 2008

3:54PM - Commercials, some are stepping it up, some are grossing me out

Commercials that I really enjoy right now are:
1. The one for Domino's where the guys think about what they did in the 30 minutes it took for the pizza to get there. I especially like at the end when the guy jumps over the fireworks. Too bad Domino's does not believe in gay so I can't order pizza from them.
2. The Subway commercial where the guy asks if he can just photocopy his butt as a receipt for his expense report. Think of all of the time I could save if I could just turn in photocopies of my butt for my expense reports.
3. The Monster.com ad where the people run out of their houses with various "weapons" to try to fight Monday. It's definitely how I feel Monday morning.

Commercials I don't like:
1. All of the Mucinex commercials. They are gross. I don't like thinking about mucus wearing a wife beater and hanging out in my lungs. Gross.
2. The Burger King commercials where the people are mad about the Whopper being discontinued. I don't like watching mad people get tricked.
3. The Robitussin commercial where the magicians pull scarves with symptoms out of the lady's ear. I don't like it.

Monday, December 31, 2007

3:48PM - It's going to be great in 2008!

Or at least let's hope so. I haven't blogged all month. There's just been too much going on. I am happy to say that I am now officially back in my new/old place. The attic apartment with the ghost and the leacherous landlord. It sounds like a sitcom. Maybe one day it will be.

I had a great time staying at Bob and BB's in the mean time. BB made me drink champagne every night. One night she even sent me to bed with a glass of champagne. I'm not kidding. They also fed me which was great.

Christmas was a usual crazy family Christmas. My mom cried. My brother broke up with his girlfriend. My sister couldn't come home. Etc. Etc.

2007 had its good and its bad. Good: A new job, a new boyfriend, a new apartment. Bad: Well, let's not even bring that up.

I'm hoping that everything will be great in 2008. Tonight I will be at Bob and BB's party enjoying fine champagne, live music, and more food than you can shake a stick at. I hope you all have festive evenings and you all get home safely.


Monday, December 3, 2007

10:06PM - Welcome to Maryland! Here's your crab cake sandwich!

I'm in Maryland and I've already eaten a crab cake sandwich. Pretty much when you get off the plane they just hand you one. Well, not really but they're everywhere. I had a really delicious one in Lexington Market in Baltimore. I'm now in Salisbury, MD, home of the Salisbury Steak. Well, I'm not sure if this is the steak's claim to fame town or not. But I'm going to try my best to eat a Salisbury steak in Salisbury just for hilarity's sake.

I moved out of my place this weekend. All of my things are in Joe's garage. I'm staying with Bob and BB and we drank champagne last night and BB brought me breakfast this morning. It was great.

I better get to bed. I'm not sure if Maryland has any roadside attractions but if they do, I'll be sure to post them.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

4:15PM - When it rains, it pours

Some updates...

I'm moving out this weekend. At first I was going to be homeless but on Monday I got an email that my old apartment would be available again on Jan 1. I called and it will be mine once again. It's the best little attic apartment ever and everyone who's been there loves it and it's haunted. I'll be storing my things in my neighbors' (Navy guys) garage and I'll be staying with friends for the month of December. I'm super stressed out and found myself crying last night over Celine Dion singing My Heart Will Go On on Dancing with the Stars. I may have officially lost it.

I have a boyfriend. That too is a long story, but I have a boyfriend. His name is Joe Walsh and he's one of the greatest guys you'll ever meet. Unfortunately he will be moving back home to Pittsburgh by Christmas. That makes me sad. But I get to visit him and eat one of those Primanti Brothers sandwiches. (Don't tell Joe that I was secretly dating him in hopes of getting to eat one of those sandwiches. Just kidding. Well, kinda.)

I will be in Maryland from December 3 to 8 for work. Then I will be taking a training class in Charlottesville from December 10 to 14. In case you were trying to stalk me.

If you need my new address, email me or call me and I'll send it your way.

I hope everyone is being festive!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

8:42AM - No More Drama

I haven't posted in a week. Probably cause I only like to post when there are fun things going on. Lately there has not been much of any fun going on.

I think my last post was that a girl was coming over as a potential roomie. She did not work out. So I'm still looking for a roommate. My landlords haven't found renters yet so I'm safe for a little while. I just gave away my derelict roommate's 30-gallon fish tank because I was sick of taking care of it. Basically what happened with him was that he kept bouncing rent checks, tried to sneak out while I was at work one day, and is now filing for bankruptcy. Plus he lied about a bunch of things. He owes my landlords about two months rent which they are not holding me accountable for thank God. And he owes me utilities and money to have the condo cleaned. I will never see that money and have made peace with it. So that is why I am leary of finding another roommate on Craig's List. You would think I would know one professional person with decent credit who could live me with but I don't.

I'm also not thrilled with my job. I'm bored. I've been here about three months and they still haven't given me anything to do other than proofreading. I got to go to South Carolina. And I will get to go to Maryland in December. And there's the chance I might get to go to Europe in the spring but they haven't confirmed that. So basically I've been doing nothing. Also, I have a coworker who I think has a voodoo doll of me. I'm even scared to write this as I think she can read my thoughts. I think I'm slowly going insane here.

So as you can see not much fun to be had. Last night we did form an impromptu garage band with guitar, bongo drum, tambourine, and shakers. I was lucky enough to get tambourine. So that was alright. Hopefully this weekend will provide some sort of amusement worthy to blog about.

In Netflix recommendations, last night I watched Miss Potter. It is the dearest movie. If you love dear, sweet, precious movies, you should watch it.

Monday, November 5, 2007

4:52PM - Say a little prayer for me

Or if you don't do that stuff send happy thoughts. I will be meeting a potential roommate tonight. I really don't want to move as it sucks so I'm hoping this will work out. But if she has a weird voice, tells me a story about how she got bit by a snake, or has bad credit then it's all over.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

4:27PM - Super Bug!

Yesterday at work I was the Super Bug. Yes, I was an antibiotic resistant strain of staph. I also think that with the random things I have on that I look like that weird neighbor kid that no one wanted to play with. Can't you just see me making and then eating mud pies????
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And here's my whole office dressed up. Just imagine this motley crew crossing 6 lanes of traffic and going into Wawa to get sandwiches. Because that's what we did. I made a point to wave at passing traffic. We got lots of honks and waves. And I'm sure we made more than one person's day. I mean, it would have made my day if I had seen such a group crossing the street. It was like we were a group of reject super heroes. it reminded me of when I was in NYC for Halloween 2005 and I was on the subway with Jesus, Ben Franklin, and the Ghostbusters. When else can you dress up and go out in public and get away with it? God bless Halloween!
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